R.I.P. Lil’ Birdie

It has been a very sad day. Lil’ Birdie died in my hands, literally. He was probably only 3 days old.

We have been peeping into the pigeon’s nest in front of our living room window since we came back from holiday. Just on Tuesday, the hot weather wave was already taking a toll on the mama and papa bird. I caught a glimpse of the egg and was worried that it was going to fall and I think papa bird got worried too because he kept moving to try to keep the egg safe. It stayed safe but I don’t know what happened next.

I found Lil’ Birdie on Thursday morning, when coincidentally I decided not to go to work that day. I looked out at the nest but there were no mama or papa pigeon anymore. I looked into the nest and couldn't see any egg or baby pigeon. Then I looked onto the ground and thought I saw a little one moving, bobbing his head up and down. That was the start of the encounter of lil’ birdie and me. I thought I saw another baby bird not too far away but it was about one floor down to the ground so I wasn't sure.

No sign of papa or mama pigeon. It was crazy hot outside (above 40 degrees). I was worried and called BH. I wasn't sure what to do. I decided to take him in. It was cooler in the house – bad move (they needed an environment of 30-35 degrees). I tried to feed it a drop of water – bad move (they can’t digest water at that age, plus the food must be close to body temperature for it to be able to digest). But it stayed alive and was active, giving out the baby pigeon chirp as well.

The sibling bird only had the head and neck – the second half of the body was disconnected. Not sure what happened. One can only guess. No sign of egg shell in nest, maybe they hatched on ground.

I called RSPCA – they said to bring to nearest vet. She doesn't think the mama bird will come back because the sibling is in half piece.

I brought to the vet. They said the chance of it surviving without mama or papa pigeon is slim. They will have to put it down. They suggested putting back in nest and hope the mama does come back.

I brought him home. Took a ladder out. Tried to build higher wall for the nest so it doesn't fall. Put him back in the nest. Closed the curtain and peep through the corner from time to time. The mama bird never came back. Did some reading before and after.

I called the vet for advise on how to feed – they said difficult to, cannot replace mama’s crop milk. They say I could bring him back and they could try calling wildlife but wildlife only takes in native, if not they can try to find another carer. They don’t think he will live. They did not sound like they will try to care for it. They were going to put him down.

I did more reading. I called the Pet Shop and found a type of food which can possibly be a substitute. BH left work a little earlier. We went to the pet shop to get the parrot hand rearing feed, and the grocery shop to get the baby dummy sucking thing.

Still no mama bird. BH tried to feed it while in nest. Too hard. Brought him in. Kept him warm with a lamp with have. Luckily weather was warm so environment was ok for him. Prepared food based on instruction from web. Difficult to feed. Can’t force it down. Websites make it sound easy for pigeons and doves but maybe he has never eaten before and doesn't know how to. He seems so fragile, too afraid to open its beak might break it. The baby dummy didn't work. Spoon seems to work better. He did have a sip or two on its own. Still active. Fed again later in the night – didn't work so well either but I think he did have a sip or two still. Not enough as a feed. First poo quite white. Second poo green and white.

Had to go to work the next day. KS was kind enough to come over next day to check on Lil’ Birdie while we were at work. Still quite active. Friday evening seems weaker. Couldn't feed much. I think I choked him at the third try. Later at night we tried syringe instead, he did seem to be able to pick the drops from the syringe but didn’t want it so much. Poo was green in evening all the way until morning. Thought he wouldn't survive the night. 

But he did, and I smiled when I saw him. Still weak but move a little more than the night before, maybe had enough rest. Tried to feed it, maybe fed too much, maybe fed wrong channel. Left him to rest. Late morning, he was gasping for air – beak kept opening and closing. I held him for about an hour, wanting to give him body warmth, giving him a massage, that seems to calmed him earlier in the morning and the night before. I took him out for fresh air, for a little bit of sun, and brought him to the window near his nest. He poo-ed in my hands – there’s a little bit of white. He tried to sleep as I held him while I lay on the sofa. MK said hello as well.

Then I tried feeding him again, this time held him in my hands and gave him the spoon again to see if he can take it on his own – didn't want to use the syringe. I thought he did have some, maybe unintentionally and after a few seconds, he died. In my hands. Just like that. He stopped breathing. The food probably blocked his air. He was trying to breathe but I tried to feed him. I called BH in. I tried to open it’s beak and gave his body a massage. He didn't wake up. He died. In my hands.

It’s a sad day.

We buried him. BH got a couple of parents’ feathers from the nest. We wrapped him in tissue, didn't use a box. I wanted him to be integrating with the soil over time, and not being trapped in a big box. I gave him a tissue head cushion too, he likes leaning his head against something when he tries to sleep. We found his half sibling and wrapped him next to him. We buried him under the tree where he was born. He never opened his eyes. There were times when I felt he was going to soon, but he never did.

R.I.P. lil’ birdie.

I’m sorry I did not know how to take care of you well enough. I hope you enjoyed your short time with us, and hoped you enjoyed the finger massage. I hope we did not make your life any harder than it already was. Sorry we don’t know where your mama and papa went. Sorry we don’t know how and why you were not in your nest and how your sibling died. Sorry you didn't get to open your eyes to see the world before you go. Hope you rest in peace lil’ birdie.

I saw a bigger white butterfly in front of our living room window today. Then I saw another smaller one that hangs around the little plant in front of the living room window after that. Was it you, coming back to tell me you are ok now?

My mum says that when someone dies, they return as a butterfly to see us for a while. When my first dog died, a butterfly was hanging around our house for a few days. It did feel like he came back to check on us, and wanted to be near us for sometime longer. And when my other dogs, my grandma and BH’s grand dad died, butterflies came near us too.

I don’t know where we go after death and I am not ready to find out now. But I hope you are indeed in a better place, lil’ Birdie. Maybe I’ll see you again when my time is up too. Thank you for coming into my life.